Lord of the Fairy Tales
by reality-be-rent
Summary: The twins find a book, and it's not just an ordinary book; it's a book with the power to suck people into it's stories, forcing them to play each one out before they can get out. Shouldn't be too hard... what could go wrong? Crappy summary.
1. Samneric's Discovery

**Hello there! Tis I, reality-be-rent, come to bring you yet another crappy story. OK, I know this story is really stupid, but I just wrote it for a little bit of fun, so I understand completely that it's not perfect. However, I just felt that I'd like to share it with you. I'm sorry that it's not very good, but I'll be truly happy if it manages to bring even a small smile to your face!**

 **Disclaimer: Alas, I am not a deceased bearded man called Sir William Golding (never forget the 'Sir', my friends). I also take no credit for the Fairy Tales used in this story.**

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 **[Chapter 1 -** **Samneric's discovery]**

"D'you think Ralph's right?"

"..Huh?" Eric looked up into a face identical to his, confusion clearly written all over his face.

"D'you actually believe that keeping the fire going is gonna get us rescued?" Sam clarified. Eric's face lit up with realisation.

"I see! ... I mean, I hope so since whatever Ralph says-"

"Is usually true because-"

"Ralph's the chief and him and Piggy are-"

"The only ones left who've got any sense." Sam finished, nodding.

The two twins had been just finished their fire duty (which had become much more frequent since the massive split of the group… and Simon's death) and were on their way to find Ralph and Piggy, who were to take the next turn.

They had a lot of faith in their chief, but with so much time past already, and one ship already missing them, they couldn't help but worry every now and again.

In fact, they had been discussing this up until this point, when Eric spotted something glowing very faintly in the water. "Hey, Sam." Said boy looked towards his twin's shell shocked face, "what on earth-"

"-Is _that_?" Sam finished his brother's sentence after turning to look in the same direction as his brother, seeing the glowing too.

Eric began to wade into the dark, almost black, water until he stood before the glow. Sam became nervous, being the eldest and having no idea what this mysterious glow belonged to, jogged to his brother's side and grabbed the arm that had begun reaching beneath the waves. "I don't think this is such a good idea. Maybe we should-"

"-go and tell Ralph. Good-"

"-idea."

* * *

"Look, if I hear once more about a bloody beastie, I am seriously going to lose it. We've already… we've already lost _Simon_." The blond's heart ached and he became distracted by the memory of the sweet, loyal boy everybody had thought was batty, including himself. The boy who'd stuck by him, despite being a member of Jack's choir. Recollecting his thoughts to focus on what was important right now, he said, "and I hope the bloody, bloody, bloody fire hasn't gone out - you two took ages. What _have_ you been up to?"

Both twins looked to each other, sharing knowing looks, before returning their attention to Ralph. Sam spoke first, "Ralph, we found something. Something we-"

"-really think you ought to see."

Ralph sighed, seeing the desperate looks in their eyes. The seriousness in those four eyes made him curious also, "alright, but you'd better not be pulling my leg."

It didn't take long to find the strange glow, after all, it was pitch black out now - it had to have been past eleven, at least - and it was _glowing._

"So," Ralph began, wading out to the glow similarly to the way Eric had only a few moments ago, " _this_ is what you were talking about I presume?"

The twins nodded simultaneously. Ralph dunked his head under the water, hoping to get a better look. Once his eyes adjusted to the glow, he could see quite clearly that it was a book. A _very_ old fashioned looking book too; curled golden font, leather-bound, and from what he could see, the pages were yellowing as well as sopping wet. Ralph returned to the surface and recounted to the others.

Ralph sighed, "'spose we'd better take it back to Piggy; he'll know what to do."

Eric made his way over, bent down and lifted the book from the cold embrace of the ocean, drying it as best he could against the decrepit remains of his school shirt. Ralph nodded and began to make his way into the direction of the camp, and the twins followed suit.

Everything was fine, until one moment, Eric began to notice that the object in his arms was beginning to glow more rapidly, and the next moment; he was gone.

"ERIC!"

* * *

"Who goes there?"

"Roger, it's us - Ralph and Sam - don't pretend you can't recognise us because we aren't wearing makeup like you-"

"IT'S DAZZLE PAINT!" Jack shrieked, coming out from behind Roger.

"Sure, anyway. Listen, we found - well, the twins found it, actually - anyway, the twins found this book in the water down by our camp an-"

"That's lovely Ralph, now you can read each other bedtime stories, " said Jack, clearly uninterested. "Now so long.. Go on, off you go!"

"Chief, maybe we could have some fun with them." Roger said darkly, grinning down at Ralph and Sam from where he was perched.

Jack grinned, clearly liking the idea. Ralph looked into Jack's eyes desperately, "please, you didn't let us finish. It was shining, or glowing, whatever you want to call it! So we were going to bring it back to Piggy to see what he thought about it. But I can't find him anywhere and..." Ralph pushed back his mane of hair irritably, "and Eric's gone."

"Why should I care?"

That was a good point. Jack had clearly left for a reason, and Jack hadn't had much remorse for what they'd _all_ done to Simon that night. But Ralph had little to no one left to turn to; Simon was dead ( _yes, simon, he would've had some advice. After all, this whole situation is batty_ ), Piggy was nowhere to be found, Sam was too preoccupied freaking out over his brother to be thinking logically at the moment, and the littluns…. Well, they didn't count.

Other hunters began to arrive now. Maurice was first, who tried to sneak up on Roger, but only succeeded in gaining a red mark on his forehead from where Roger smacked him in the face with his spear. Robert and Henry came soon after, along with some others that Ralph couldn't remember the names of. Bill was the last, fashionably late as he called it but it was really because everyone forgot about him (again) and left without him. Even Robert, who Bill chose to stand by, turned to him, looking slightly disturbed at this random boy who was stood so close to him, before he remembered who he was and calmed down. Poor Bill.

"We should get him to join our tribe!"

"No, we'll do him instead." ( ** _NOT_ like that, naughty reader**.)

"Yeah, run him in, Jack!"

"Show 'im whose Chief now!"

"No, no, no, we ought to torture him." Roger's eyes lit up at the suggestion. Jack placed his hand on Roger's dirty shoulder, trying to calm down his inner sadist.

"Look at me, Jack." Ralph screamed. Jack stopped looking at (a now very sad) Roger understandingly. He looked at Ralph, "Can't you see that I'm desperate? Why else would I come here?"

Jack's face remained impassive, and the hunters took this as their cue to form a circle around the two blonds. Ralph continued to stare at Jack, his eyes pleading with him, until he could see Jack no more; he saw only the faces of multiple painted savages closing in on them. Sam squeaked and grasped Ralph's hand tightly, and Ralph made no move to remove the younger boy's hand. Instead, he squeezed back.

In his other hand, the book began to glow again and then suddenly… Ralph disappeared.

"RALPH!"

 **END OF CHAPTER 1**

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 **This was incredibly awful - I'm so sorry! Please don't be angry!**

 **~reality-be-rent~**

 **review and I'll give you a virtual chocolate bar? 3**


	2. Sleeping Beauty?

**Here's chapter 2 people. Sorry that it's taken me a little while to update (if anyone is actually reading this garbage) but I've really been super busy. I've always been working on a Roger x OC story, which has taken up quite a bit of my time. I'm hoping that after a few chapters I'll also be able to start posting for that story, too.**

 **I won't give anything away though!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Flies or the characters associated with it.**

 **You happy, now T_T. I said it!**

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 **[Chapter 2** **Sleeping Beauty?]**

Ralph opened his eyes and jolted upright, which was a big mistake. His hand flew up to caress his forehead as a shock of pain ran through his head. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to be sick. He began gagging. Just when he thought he was really going to lose his boring breakfast of fruit, fruit and fruit, he heard something. Someone was snoring very loudly next to him.

 _What?_ Ralph stopped dry heaving and looked up for the first time. _Ok, I'm definitely not on the island._ He was surrounded by _hundreds_ of sleeping people. Not only that, but they were all dressed similarly to what you'd expect from the medieval times, not the twentieth century.

Ralph stood up quickly, which was harder than he expected. He didn't remember being this heavy. Actually, since he'd been on the island he'd begun to deteriorate. He didn't have the boxer build he'd had when he first washed up on the island. Now he was just skin and bones.. _So why-?_ He trailed off, looking down at himself. _Great, now I'm dressed up like them too._

Except Ralph wasn't dressed like a peasant. No, no, no, not Ralph. Instead, he was clad in shining armour, with his sword hanging by his side and a shield lying on the floor in front of him. That must've been what he'd hit his head on earlier, _bastard_. Ralph kicked it and looked at it distastefully, before picking it up. He'd find a use for it.

"I suppose I'd better find Eric."

* * *

"HOLY SHIT, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

"Jack, calm dow-"

"HE JUST FUCKING STARTED SHINING LIKE THAT GAY VAMPIRE FROM TWILIGHT-"

"The hell is Twilight?"

"What?" Jack replied, confused. Roger looked at Maurice, his face etched with concern.

"I think he's delirious," Maurice chirped.

"No shit," Roger sighed, he looked at Jack who had began to freak out over the blond boy's disappearance just moments ago. "Jack."

Jack was now clinging onto Sam, while shouting gibberish. Roger slapped him. This annoyed Jack, " don't forget whose chief."

"THEN START BLOODY ACTING LIKE IT - YOU'RE CLINGING TO A FUCKING TEN YEAR OLD FOR FUCKS SAKE."

Jack eventually calmed down, now pretending that nothing had happened. Maurice enquired whether he'd recovered from his mental breakdown due to the loss of his boyfriend. Jack remembered no such thing and insisted - "HEY!" Maurice proceeded to hide behind Roger.

Jack tried to change the subject. "Look, men. We need to find Ralph."

"What about my brother?" Sam snivelled.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, we'll find Evan-"

"Eric"

"-Eric, too."

"Hang on," Robert looked puzzled, "what the fuck, Merridew, we don't even like them. We should just pronounce them dead and move on without having them in our way anymore."

"Naw, man. I just want to find him so that I can kis- _kill_ him myself to prove myself as chief."

Everyone tried to ignore his slip up. Bill stepped forward, asking the one question no one could answer: "how do we get there?"

Ah. Yes that bit of information may be helpful.

Ralph was now more than certain that he was in a castle right now, and the events taking place seemed familiar to him somehow. The hundreds of sleeping people. The three fairies zooming towards hi- wait

Before he could finish that thought, he was hit by a blur of pink, green, blue, and, if he was not mistaken, _orange_ hair. "Jack?!" Ralph exclaimed. Said boy moved from burying his face into Ralph's chest to lying in his lap. "What the _hell_ are you doing in a dress - and _makeup_ , really? I mean I'm used to the stuff you wear on the island but _really?_ "

Jack never answered. Nor did the others, who Ralph had only just taken notice of, "Oh, come _on. Maurice, Robert,_ you too?!" Ralph threw his hands up for extra effect.

The three drag queens quickly exchanged a glance, before Jack tutted. "Listen, my sweet, we don't have any idea what you're talking about. My name's Jackie…. Do I look like a man to you?"

Ralph didn't answer that. "My name's _Maureen,_ and this is Robyn." Maurice grinned, before curtseying, sending his blue dress flouncing momentarily. "How do you do?" Robyn winked at him.

"Ok, tell me what you want before this gets even weirder."

Jackie…. God, this was wrong on so many levels…. Jackie nodded, "by the looks of your outfit, your sword and your _handsome_ face, we figured you _must_ be the Prince."

 _Just go with it._ "Yes, do go on."

"We need you to kiss your Princess, duh!" Maureen interjected, flipping non existent hair over his shoulder. Ralph simply raised an eyebrow but continued to wait patiently. "You see, she was lured by that… that _witch,"_ here Maureen stamped her/his foot, " and, just like the curse warned, she has pricked her finger on the spinning wheel and has fallen into a deep sleep!"

 _Ohhhhhhh, I get it now. This is Sleeping Beauty._ Well, Ralph figured he might as well go with it. Perhaps by completing the story he could get out of here and back to the others. But not without finding Eric first.

"Where is she?"

"She's up in that tower," Robyn pointed to a large, very sinister looking tower ahead. The bricks looked like they were going to fall out at any moment, sending the tower crashing down like a mighty oak.

"Piece of cake." After all, if he remembered correctly, this would be the worst of his problems.

"I wouldn't get so cocky if I were you, look." Jack rolled his eyes, pointing to the dragon perched on the tip of the tower. Ah…. how did he _not_ see that?

"Should've gone to spec savers."

"Sorry?" Ralph said.

"Huh?" Maureen asked innocently….. _Whatever._

"... Well, what're you waiting for? Off you go!" Jackie pushed him. Hard.

The dragon notices him now, and swoops forward, intending to strike. Ralph yelps, but manages to pull his sword out in time to block. "IT IS I-"

"Maleficent…. Right?"

"-ROGEFICENT!"

"Of course."

"AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAST ME. THE PRINCESS IS _MINE_."

"Why do-" Ralph blocked another attack, "why do you want her so desperately? Can't we, ya know, trade or something. I think I've got….. chocolate? chocolate in my pocket?"

"No, that's rat shit." Ralph yelped and dropped said item from his hand. "I need the princess because my last torture victim died….. And I like them…. Pretty. Young. Fresh. I've had my eye on her for a while now. Now I've come to claim her."

"Kidnapping 101."

"ENOUGH!" Rogeficent boomed, " ENOUGH OF THIS POINTLESS TALKING. DON'T THINK I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS YOURE DOING."

"...No, I'm actually this confused." Clearly Rogeficent didn't like being talked back to, for he breathed a long jet of fire towards Prince Ralph. Ralph managed to block just in time, although now his shield was barbecued. "Hey," Ralph turned to the fairies, "in the story, you guys give me enchanted shit!"

"Sorry, we're out of credit." Jack blurted.

"We don't look _this_ beautiful without using a little magic of our own." Robyn shrugged, before gesturing to his/her gown and makeup. Maureen was to busy looking in a hand mirror.

" _Please,_ I need your help." Ralph pleaded. Rogeficent just chuckled darkly, and made his way back around for round two. His target - a helpless Ralph - looked around desperately for somewhere to hide, something to use as a shield, anything!

He took in a large puff of air, but before he could breathe out he heard something. Something really _annoying_. He turned in the direction of the fairies; one was missing. The annoying sound is getting closer, but poor Rogeficent cannot work out where it is coming from.

He can now make out words, "Jackie is such an idiot," cue giggling. Rogeficent screams, "he…. She…. huh… Jackie thinks that pink is better than blue. I mean, come on, pink is just incredibly _camp_. _Blue_ on the other hand, now that's both feminine and strong. Hey! It would really bring out the colour of your eyes. Y'know, I think I might still have some eyeshadow left over, I could bring out those eyes in a flash, hon!"

"DRAGON DOWN, DRAGON DOWN. MAY DAY, ANNOYING CAMP CROSSDRESSER IS STABBING ME IN THE EYE WITH A WEIRD PUFFY STICK-"

"I'm _trying_ to apply your makeup. Now hold still!"

"GAHHHHHHHH"

While these events had been going on, Ralph had taken the opportunity to slip past the dragon and into the tower. He looked at the flight of stairs and struck a confident pose, "don't worry, Princess. I'm coming to save you."

"Oh my _God_." Ralph dragged himself up the last step. The 276th step. Yes. He'd counted. But this didn't matter for he knew it wouldn't be in vain; from his position (collapsed) on the floor, he could see the Princess' chambers.

Wasting no more time, he burst through the door and rushed to his side. Kneeling, he looked into her beautiful face and admired-

"OH MY FUCK."

It was Eric. In a dress. Fast asleep. The first thought that came to mind was, "what the fuck? Why cant anybody in this goddamn story figure out whether they're a boy or a girl? I'm sure the dragon said 'she'."

Eric was still asleep, despite the outburst, and he didn't make a single sound. Ralph had to act quick; Rogeficent could realise that he was gone any second now and come back to fight. Wasting not a second longer Ralph swooped in, closed his eyes, and hoped that he wouldn't get slapped later. But his lips never touched eric's. Instead, they met the floor.. For the second time that day.

He looked up and at first he believed that Eric had woken up. But when he looked to the bed, he saw that Eric was still lying fast asleep on the bed, and Sam stood next to him, red faced and angry. "Sam!"

"You're not taking my brother's first kiss!" Sam pouted indignantly. He then spun dramatically to face his brother and got down on one knee. Taking both of Eriic's hands in his own, he leaned in very slowly.

Ralph gasped, "twincest?"

Sam's eyelashes brushed back and forth gently against Eric's until the movement was reciprocated. "Sam!"

"Eric! I've been-"

"-So worried about you!" They beamed and held each other close.

"Ralph!" Ralph was suddenly pulled out from this heartwarming moment between two brothers by a voice from the window. He rushed over and looked down, only to see Jack, Maurice, Robert (and this time, they're not in drag), Roger, Bill and the others waving up to him.

Ralph grinned wildly, "we're coming down! Eric's fine!"

But they don't, because suddenly their sight became warped, and the scene began to change.

 **End of Chapter 2**

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 **Whelp, that crappy chapter's finished; now it's time to move onto the next one! Every story will have different protagonists, so sorry Ralph lovers.**

 **Thanks for taking the time to read this - it means a lot! Please Rate and Review, but don't be too harsh!**

 **~reality-be-rent~**


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